Gurl I'm cray so get out my way

hazehgrace:

frostied:

maybe Jesus was gay the whole time and was actually saying “ah, men”

STOP I SHOULD NOT BE LAUGHING

angharadismyhero:

iwillfindyouandiwillshipyou:

Omg today when I woke up I was so confused that I couldn’t remember my first language and I panicked and literally screamed ‘But I dont even know how to speak french’ in english.

I’m german.

I am oddly glad that this can happen.

astoundly:

sometimes i think i’m sassy and then i realize i’m just too sarcastic and borderline mean

feat:

do you ever imagine what it would be like to be invisible and scare every person you dislike 

postscratch:

IM CRYING THIS KID IN MY SCHOOL WAS EXPELLED FOR TAKING A SHIT ON OUR PRINCIPALS DESK 

ixnay-on-the-oddk:

doodleniks:

I LAUGH LITERALLY EVERY TIME I SEE THIS OH MY GOD

Oh god

wolfwithafoxtail:

People think feminism means that there’s a group of women somewhere that want to take trousers with pockets away from men and give them to women, and give men trousers with fake pockets, while in reality feminism is the general idea that everyone should have trousers with pockets, because pockets are awesome.

burgerkid:

burgerkid:

burgerkid:

Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad?

His mummy.

i lost 10 followers already

horror movie opening scene
white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy: i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl: ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl: ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

asian:

all i want in life is

  • fast wifi
  • fast metabolism
  • fast food
  • fast shipping